I just saw a hot homeless man
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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