I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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