it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize