: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
