dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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