u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
