halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize