shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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