she smelled like a LAN party
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
