I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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