We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
