Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize