i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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