The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
