i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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