we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
