drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
