East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
