I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
