May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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