my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
