Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
