i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
