1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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