Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
