did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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