Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
the night ended with taco bell and tears
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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