we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
