I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
