I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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