Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
