I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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