On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
