OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You took a bar mat shot.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize