I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
