i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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