brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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