you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
