yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
