I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
