I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
