She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
