honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
