Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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