I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
