I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
