i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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