when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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