I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
