this beer tastes like vomit already
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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