i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want nice things and good sex
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
