So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm too high and old for this...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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