Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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