im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
