love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
