2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
