I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize