I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
