And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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