Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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