i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
