I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
