you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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