I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We left the knife in your bed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
