Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
