You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
