i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
