Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
