i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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