Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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