From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
