I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
