He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
